Monday, August 5, 2013

'Til Death Do Us Part

Did I ever tell you about the time I tried to kill my wife? Seriously, I did. Okay, not on purpose. Really!

We were taking our car to the shop to have the transmission worked on. It seemed to be having trouble not engaging - particularly reverse. When we arrived at the shop, the mechanic wanted it parked in a certain spot and to do that we had to turn the car around. Should be no problem, right? I mean, we’d made it that far.

Unfortunately, the road was not wide enough to make a U-turn, so we had to back up - or, at least that was the idea. With the front end of the car nosed down on the side of the road, toward a fairly sizeable ditch, reverse went out completely. We both tried to push the vehicle back up to the road but couldn’t get it to budge. So, I got the bright idea that the transmission was just slipping a bit. I figured if I could get something to give it a little nudge, just to get it going, it might work enough to back up the two or three feet I needed.
That something, I decided, should be my wife. I would drive.

Not only did it not work but every time I took my foot off the brake, the car would roll a little farther down the ditch. Of course, I kept trying, edging the car farther and farther each time. And, edging my wife closer to the fence at the bottom of the ditch.

I didn’t realize there was a problem until it was too late; she was pinned with her leg caught between the car’s bumper and the fence. When I did finally realize what was happening, I put the car into neutral and got out, intending to help her push. This only added more pressure, insuring my wife was firmly trapped. She said later that the only thing she wondered at the time was how much more she could stand.

I’m not sure how, we’d both tried pushing together earlier to no avail, but somehow, I was able to push the car back up onto the road - by myself! Adrenalin I guess, after seeing the anguished look on her face.

In the years since, my wife has never let forget the incident, bringing it up from time to time - good-naturedly, of course. She wasn’t really upset with me over it. Or, so I thought.

The other day, she posted something on Facebook that now has me wondering. The post said how she was thankful to have a husband who works hard, who would do anything for her, makes her laugh, who is her best friend, etc. That was all great until I got to the part about her husband being the one she wanted to grow old with - IF SHE DIDN’T KILL HIM FIRST!

Hmm. Has she been holding a grudge all this time! Does she intend to pay me back someday? I’m not really sure. But if one day, out of the blue, she asks me to push her car - while she drives - I think I will decline.

Bruce A. Borders is the author of more than a dozen books. Over My Dead Body, The Journey, and Miscarriage Of Justice, and other titles, are available as ebooks on Apple I-Pad®, Amazon Kindle®, Barnes & Noble Nook® and Sony Reader®, Kobo, Diesel Books, and Smashwords. His books are also available in print at most online retailers or at The popular Wynn Garrett Series Books are now available on Barnes And Noble® at See Bruce’s Smashwords Profile at #MiscarriageOfJustice #BruceABorders

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