Sunday, February 12, 2017

Gross Negligence

I really should be fully awake before attempting things like brushing my teeth. At the very least, I should probably make sure that I’m using toothpaste before sticking the brush in my mouth. But as you can readily ascertain from this opening, I did neither of those things.

I’d just gotten up on Sunday morning and was getting ready for church. As usual, I was in a hurry. I was ready to leave but still needed to brush my teeth so I grabbed the brush and “toothpaste.” Only after I began brushing did I realize that instead of my Sensodyne toothpaste, I’d used a tube of Desitin. For those who may not know, Destin is a zinc oxide cream used primarily to treat rashes, specifically, babies’ diaper rash. It and the toothpaste tube look strangely similar if both are laying on the counter.

Surprisingly, the stuff didn’t taste bad. There wasn’t really a taste to it at all. It was more of a weird texture that seemed to coat the entire inside of my mouth. The problem with that is, Destin is a very thick and stiff cream and resistant to water. So, it took some time to remove it from my teeth and mouth. I finally used a dry wash cloth to wipe away most of the cream and then brushed my teeth (with actual toothpaste this time, and a different brush). Then I brushed them again. And still not satisfied the Destin was completely gone; I used a very large dose of mouthwash. I then drank a can of Dr. Pepper—just for good measure.

Although, I didn’t read the label, I’m pretty sure Destin isn’t too harmful. It IS used on babies after all. Still, it was the idea. Just kind of disgusting. On a positive note however, my teeth seem to be rash free at the moment! ~

Bruce A. Borders is the author of more than a dozen books, including: Inside Room 913, Over My Dead Body, The Journey, Miscarriage Of Justice, The Lana Denae Mysteries, and The Wynn Garrett Series. Available in ebook at and paperback on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Books-a-Million. Bruce A. Borders is a proud member of Rave Reviews Book Club.


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