Sunday, July 27, 2014

My Ant Farm

One morning recently, I discovered an inordinate amount of ants had decided that my driveway would make a good place to build a home. And without even asking permission, they’d moved right in—all 14, 273 of them! No, I didn’t actually count. That’s just a rough estimate.

Now, in the old days, getting rid of them would have been easy—pour about half a gallon of gasoline down the hole and strike a match! VoilĂ ! No more ants! But these days, with all the goofy laws, I’m sure that method of extermination is strictly prohibited. Besides, with all the neighbors coming out to go to work, setting a big fire in my driveway is probably not a good plan. I don’t need the fire department, police, and the EPA showing up with their SWAT Teams! But leaving the ants there, to continue building tunnels and mounding up sand while their population of 14,273 increased to double that or more, was not an option.

The problem is, most of the methods I know of exterminating ants are likely illegal. Actually, a lot of things I know in general are probably illegal. When I was growing up, and learning how to deal with everyday problems, we didn’t have an insane bunch of bureaucrats to over-regulate everything under the sun. Back then, if we’d had half of the laws we do now, I’d have probably been a seasoned criminal by age 12!

Sure, there are many products available that promise to get rid of ants or solve other household problems. The problem is, they don’t work. Not effectively. For instance, the new and improved “environmentally safe” weed killers have to be sprayed multiple times. Once used to do the trick. But that was the old stuff. The good stuff. Unless you are a rancher or insecticide dealer, you can’t get the good stuff. This applies to many products these days, insecticides, pesticides, and more. Even paint thinner has been emasculated.

I just shake my head when I walk through the store and see all the “Environmentally safe” labels. All that label says to me is that the product more than likely doesn’t work. I get the feeling that the manufacturers are somewhere laughing at us; their impotent products are not cheap!

And so, I’m left to coming up with my own ways to solve my problems. Like the ants. Yes, I got rid of them. No, I’m not saying how. But, they’re gone. All 14, 273 of them!


Current Read
The Glade
Harmony Kent

Kathryn Treat
Allergic To Life


Bruce A. Borders is the author of more than a dozen books, including: Inside Room 913, Over My Dead Body, The Journey, Miscarriage Of Justice, and The Wynn Garrett Series. Available in ebook and paperback on iTunes, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Diesel Books, and Smashwords, or at Amazon Profile - Bruce A. Borders also serves as the Vice President of Rave Reviews Book Club

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