I was informed by my dogs’ veterinarian this week that I was
not authorized to make medical decisions regarding my dogs. This is the same
vet my wife and I have taken our dogs to for the past 8 or 9 years. And I have
made many medical decisions for the dogs during that time. None of his seemed
to matter; my name was not listed as an authorized person.
It’s funny though, they had no problem taking money from me.
Apparently, I am authorized to pay. And I’m sure they would not have any qualms
about starting collections proceedings against me if I failed to pay either.
Since I rarely refrain from saying what I’m thinking, I
mentioned this to the lady. She said that since I was listed as the owner of
the dogs, I was responsible for any payments that may be due.
My voice was heavily steeped in cynical sarcasm as I
answered. “So you have me listed as the owner, but I can’t make any decisions
for them? You realize how stupid that sounds, right? What is this, Obamacare
for dogs?”
Instead of responding to my somewhat rhetorical questions,
the lady just said I needed to have my wife call and okay adding my name as an
authorized party. Which I did. But I was still incredulous and a little annoyed
by the whole thing. I’m pretty sure the lady could tell too. Trying to mollify me
she said, “The policy is really for your and your dogs’ protection. You don’t
want just anybody making medical decisions for your dogs.”
“Right,” I said. “First, I’m not just anybody. As you have
already said, you know I’m the owner of the dog. And second, “Is this really a
problem? Do complete strangers routinely bring my dogs in for veterinarian
care? Or anybody’s dogs for that matter?”
The lady admitted she didn’t know of anything like that
actually happening. “But it could and that’s what we’re trying to prevent.”
“And you’ve done a remarkable job of it too,” I said, hoping
their level of medical knowledge exceeded that of their common sense.
The good news is, my wife did call them and I’m now a
certified, authorized, and responsible party! Yes, I’m allowed to request my
dogs’ nails get clipped! And anything else, I suppose. So my dogs are safe!
Except for one thing: even after all of that, they never asked for my ID. So,
apparently all anyone has to do is SAY they are Bruce A. Borders and everything
is okay. In light of that, if anyone wants to take my dogs to the vet for a
checkup, feel free. It would save me a LOT of hassle! ~
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