Made the mistake of mentioning to my wife that I’d like to lose a little weight. A mistake because now she keeps coming up with these ways I can do that. Insane ways. Her suggestions are things like walking, running, jogging, bike riding, an exercise routine and... dieting of all things!
I’ve never gone on a diet in all of my forty-nine years! Just the thought of dieting makes me hungry. Much as the mere thought of running, jogging, bike riding, or exercising makes me tired. I’m not a teenager anymore! My life these days consists of driving a truck and working at my computer! I can’t really be expected to actually be active can I? Besides, I don’t have time for any of that.
Seriously though, I’m pretty sure that’s the real reason I don’t do any of those “healthy” things any longer—I don’t have the time. And yes, I know, not doing those things would be the reason I need to lose some weight.
But I’ve come up with a solution! I’m going to exercise in my sleep! Should be easy to lose weight that way, after all, I get about five hours of sleep a night! That’s thirty-five hours of exercise per week. The weight should just fall off, right? Yeah, I know, in my dreams.
Actually, my real solution is even simpler than that. I’ll just stop eating. Well, not completely. That might cause serious complications. But maybe if I stop eating so much that just might do the trick. Might, but there is still that hunger issue to deal with, so it may take a little work. What I won’t do is mention my plan to my wife; she might start dreaming up ways for me to eat less—like not cooking. I don’t need my first diet to be a starvation diet! ~
Bruce A. Borders is the author of more than a dozen books, including: Inside Room 913, Over My Dead Body, The Journey, Miscarriage Of Justice, The Lana Denae Mysteries, and The Wynn Garrett Series. Available in ebook at www.amazon.com/Bruce-A.-Borders/e/B006SOLWQS and paperback on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Books-a-Million. Bruce A. Borders is a proud member of Rave Reviews Book Club.