Monday, November 17, 2014

Too Cold At Home

I’m seriously concerned about my wife. I’m afraid she is losing it. Now, that might be nothing new, after all, she did marry me, so her judgment may have never been that sound. But in this specific instance I’m referring to the frigid weather that most of the country is currently experiencing. She was quite happy at the prospect of an early winter and looking forward to the snow. Actually excited at the thought. Giddy almost.

As for me, I could most certainly do without the cold and the snow. Or, winter in general for that matter. Why? Because I don’t like the cold. What’s wrong with summer?

With the early Artic blast, my wife and I have already had a couple of heated discussions regarding the weather this year. These discussions typically leave me out in the cold—or inside in the cold since our house is usually not the warmest place on Earth. As I’ve mentioned before, we have to be the only house in the state that routinely runs the air conditioner in December! And it’s not like we live in Hawaii or Florida. You can see why I’m concerned about her state of mind.

While writing this post, I took a gander at the thermometer and it is a whopping five degrees outside. I know, five degrees isn’t really all that cold compared to the temperature elsewhere. But where I live, it’s cold. (My wife’s opinion not withstanding).

Yes, I have felt colder temperatures. Much colder. Many times. Forty below and worse, and I’m not talking wind-chill. However, that little fact doesn’t make the five degrees feel any warmer. It is still cold. Too cold.

I am aware that technically, there is no such thing as cold. Cold is merely the absence of heat. Scientifically that is true, but no one has ever explained that to my toes. They are simply cold. As is the rest of me. I could definitely use a little global warming right now.

But my wife, she loves it. She claims it’s due to being form the Northland. I’m afraid the real reason is her brain cells are slowly disappearing. I mean what else could explain why, as a grown woman, she wants to be outside playing in the snow—and wondering why I have no desire to join her. The reason is simple; because I’m COLD!

Bruce A. Borders is the author of more than a dozen books, including: Inside Room 913, Over My Dead Body, The Journey, Miscarriage Of Justice, and The Wynn Garrett Series. Available in ebook and paperback on iTunes, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Diesel Books, and Smashwords, or at Amazon Profile - Bruce A. Borders also serves as the Vice President of Rave Reviews Book Club


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