Sunday, August 31, 2014

My First Wife

Yes, I know; everyone who knows me is frowning at the title of this post and scratching their head. Don’t worry; it’ll make sense—maybe.

One day at work, a few of the guys were sitting around discussing their first wives, some favorably, some not so favorably. The stories grew wilder by the minute and, like they were competing in some primal contest, each one tried to top the other.

Not to be outdone, I joined in the conversation. I told them all about my first wife, how pretty she was, how loving, caring, and supportive she was, and intelligent too—after all, she did marry me. (Some would insist this would be more of an argument against her intelligence). I bragged on how well she could cook—as evidenced by my ever-expanding stomach—and how she was a great mother to our children. I kept talking for a good five minutes or better, regaling them with the many wonders of my first wife.

It must have been something in my tone, or my eyes. Or, maybe I didn’t do a very good job of keeping the smirk off my face, but finally, one of the guys said, “How come I get the feeling you’re not really being honest with us?”

I said, “What do you mean? Everything I’ve told you about her is the absolute truth.” And it was.

Another one of them gave me a disbelieving frown. “I didn’t know you’d been married before.”

“I haven’t,” I said. “Didn’t know we were talking about second wives. I’m still married to the first one. After all I’ve told you about her, why would you think I’d want to change?”

They all laughed and shook their heads. And then, they changed the subject. Guess they didn’t want to talk about wives any more, be they first, second, or even third wives.

Oh, and as for the contest, I think I won!


Current Read
Her Best Match
Tamie Dearen

Traci Sanders
When Darkness Breaks

Bruce A. Borders is the author of more than a dozen books, including: Inside Room 913, Over My Dead Body, The Journey, Miscarriage Of Justice, and The Wynn Garrett Series. Available in ebook and paperback on iTunes, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Diesel Books, and Smashwords, or at Amazon Profile - Bruce A. Borders also serves as the Vice President of Rave Reviews Book Club

No comments:

Post a Comment