Fire Starter

I think I’m going to have to quit my job—so I can stay home and keep an eye on my wife. It may be the only way to keep my house intact. I might be only half serious but that half is what concerns me.

Got a call from her the other day and she told me she’d started another fire. Now, we don’t have a fireplace or a wood stove. The fire she started was in the oven. Problem is, we don’t have a wood cook stove either—just a normal electric range. And this was an actual fire. Another problem is, this isn’t exactly a new phenomenon. Over the years, she’s had a habit of creating some of the most unusual fires; for instance, the time she caught a pot of water on fire. Yep, water.

It had been a while since her last episode and I thought perhaps her firebug tendencies had abated. But, no. The bug had apparently just been lying dormant. Until the other day.

The fire in the oven was the element. That’s not good. Elements are, by design, not supposed to burn. The makers of our stove obviously haven’t met my wife. This one was definitely burning, she said—with flames.

At first, I thought it was probably only grease or food that had collected on the element and then burned off. But no, the element burned up and no longer works. So, I spent a few minutes finding the model number and then ordered a new one. In a few days, the stove will be good as new—and all ready for my wife!

I shouldn’t really be surprised, at her preclevity for burning things I suppose. After all, her name is Brenda, which means “firebrand.” I always assumed that was figurative and referred to her demeanor or readiness to “discuss” things passionately. But obviously, with her it is quite literal!

To be fair, she didn’t burn anything else and she got the fire out but, well, I’d still feel better if I could find a way to make money from home. It may not be safe to leave her alone! ~

Bruce A. Borders is the author of more than a dozen books, including: Inside Room 913, Over My Dead Body, The Journey, Miscarriage Of Justice, and The Wynn Garrett Series. Available in ebook at www.amazon.com/Bruce-A.-Borders/e/B006SOLWQS and paperback on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Books-a-Million. Bruce A. Borders is a proud member of Rave Reviews Book Club.

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Temporary Bachelor

Home alone. My wife is off gallivanting around the country on vacation. (Actually, she is visiting her family). But, I stayed behind. And since my kids have all moved away, it’s just me - and the dogs.

Living alone isn’t really a problem. I can manage to take care of myself, and the dogs. In fact, I seem to function quite well on my own. But I do tend to become a little irritable without my wife around. The dogs are not impressed.

When my wife and I first got married and she would leave for a week or two, I dealt with my frustration by firing people at my job. (Only if they deserved it, of course)! I don’t have a lot of patience to begin with - add to that the annoyance of my wife being away and it doesn’t bode well for employees who do not listen or who won’t do their job. As the manager of a fast food restaurant, with several employees, I usually had an abundance of opportunities to exercise my self-designed “therapy.”

These days, I’m not the boss - probably a good thing - so; I have to deal with my frustration in a different manner. The method of choice is to stay busy working. Again, the dogs are not impressed. In the week I’ve been home alone, I’ve worked on a broken light fixture in the kitchen, replaced two leaking faucets, repaired the fence, fixed the shed door, did some maintenance on my pickup, and cleaned up the house (a little). And, I still have more to do.

This new approach to dealing with the absence of my wife seems to be rather productive! Much more so than firing my crew - and then having to run the store by myself! I’m hoping when my wife returns she’ll be happy with everything I’ve accomplished. The thing that worries me is that she’ll be so pleased she’ll decide to leave more often. That wouldn’t be good - for me, or the dogs.

Bruce A. Borders is the author of more than a dozen books. Over My Dead Body, The Journey, and Miscarriage Of Justice, and other titles, are available as ebooks on Apple I-Pad®, Amazon Kindle®, Barnes & Noble Nook® and Sony Reader®, Kobo, Diesel Books, and Smashwords. His books are also available in print at most online retailers or at www.bruceabordersbooks.weebly.com. The popular Wynn Garrett Series Books are now available on Barnes And Noble® at http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/?series_id=867526 See Bruce’s Smashwords Profile at www.smashwords.com/profile/view/BruceABorders #MiscarriageOfJustice #BruceABorders