Mr. Clean

Spent over eight hours cleaning house on Saturday—and it wasn’t that messy! Well, that may be a little misleading. It was kind of messy. Maybe a little more than that.

The thing is, it shouldn’t have been messy at all. My wife is away visiting her family—has been for nearly three weeks. So, it’s just the dogs and me. And aside from the weekends, I’m hardly home. So, the house shouldn’t have been messy.

I guess I could blame it all on the dogs—I’d like to blame it on the dogs. But that would be unfair to the little creatures because the truth is, while they may have contributed in some small way, the majority of the mess came from me.

It’s a rude awakening to find out—at age 50— that I’m a very untidy person. Honestly, 8 loads of laundry, two loads of dishes through the dishwasher, the floors were starting to look I lived in a barn with all the dirt they’d collected, and the clutter through the rest of the house was reaching record levels. All this from a guy who spends a measly three hours a day at home—not counting my sleep time. It’s almost astonishing how I could make such a mess!

But, it’s all clean now. Good thing too, as my wife will be coming home soon. And she had the house nice and clean before she left! I’m hoping she gets home while the place is still presentable as I’m not sure how long I can maintain my uncharacteristic decorum. I’d hate for her to discover her husband’s woeful housekeeping skills, things could get messy! Although, after thirty years of marriage, I’m thinking she already knows. ~

Bruce A. Borders is the author of more than a dozen books, including: Inside Room 913, Over My Dead Body, The Journey, Miscarriage Of Justice, The Lana Denae Mysteries, and The Wynn Garrett Series. Available in ebook at www.amazon.com/Bruce-A.-Borders/e/B006SOLWQS and paperback on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Books-a-Million. Bruce A. Borders is a proud member of Rave Reviews Book Club.

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Don't Call Me, I'll Call You

Am I the only one who finds the practice of doctor’s, dentist’s, and veterinarian’s offices calling incessantly to remind clients of their upcoming appointments annoying? And now other businesses are apparently following suit. I miss the old days when, if you had appointment, you were expected to show up. No one had to call and jog your memory.

And of course, they always call in the morning hours, usually at eight o’clock or so. That might be fine for some folks but for a guy who gets home and makes it to bed around six, these phone calls are more than annoying. I don’t need to be awakened just so they can tell me I’m going to need to get up early for my appointment.

Every time I get one of these calls, I feel like saying, “Yes, I know I have an appointment—I made it, remember?” But, contrary to popular opinion, I’m a nice guy and I haven’t done that—yet.

This may seem rather petty to some folks, and maybe some like getting these calls. If you’re prone to forgetting your appointments, I can see how you might appreciate a friendly reminder. Although, I may get old and forgetful someday, so far, I do not have that problem. Barring some unforeseen event, if I have an appointment, I’ll be there. And, in the event of some unforeseen event, the phone call reminder won’t make a difference. So, as you may have gathered, for me the annoyance is not a petty thing. And now they’ve begun texting as well. And expecting me to respond. When I do not, they keep sending more texts.

I’ve tried asking them not to call (or text), explaining that I am usually sleeping when they phone but it didn’t work. Then, instead of asking, I just said, Do Not Call. That didn’t work either because apparently, these days, the customer doesn’t get to determine what they would prefer.

So, I’ve come up with a new plan. A couple of days before my appointment, I’ll do the calling—just to confirm they have me scheduled and to remind them I’ll be in at my appointed time, you know, just in case they might have forgotten.

I’m sure my call will be met with something along the lines of a slightly confused “Uh, yeah, we have you down” as they wonder why on earth I’m calling. (The same way I felt when they first started calling me). I’m thinking it won’t take too many of these calls before they decide to honor my request to not call me. But, as I often am in these matters, I could be wrong. ~

Bruce A. Borders is the author of more than a dozen books, including: Inside Room 913, Over My Dead Body, The Journey, Miscarriage Of Justice, The Lana Denae Mysteries, and The Wynn Garrett Series. Available in ebook at www.amazon.com/Bruce-A.-Borders/e/B006SOLWQS and paperback on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Books-a-Million. Bruce A. Borders is a proud member of Rave Reviews Book Club.

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On The Road Again

Let me apologize in advance, as this post will be fairly short. Not that I don’t love to ramble while I write but that takes time and time is something I don’t have a lot of at the moment. I’m getting ready to leave on an unexpected road trip. A family emergency—of sorts. Not a life-threatening emergency but an emergency nonetheless.

I should get a few thousand miles of travel in over the next few days. But that’s okay. That’s what I do—drive. Lucky for me, I won’t be driving a commercial vehicle so there will be none of those pesky regulations to get in the way. That should make things go a little more smoothly.

I guess you could say this trip is the repayment of an old debt. Kind of. Thirty-two years ago, a certain individual brought an entourage to rescue me—at a moment’s notice and without complaint. Now, it’s my turn to return the favor.

Sorry to be so cryptic but I can’t really discuss the details yet. Just thought it was a bit ironic how history repeats itself—usually with a twist, or two. ~

Bruce A. Borders is the author of more than a dozen books, including: Inside Room 913, Over My Dead Body, The Journey, Miscarriage Of Justice, The Lana Denae Mysteries, and The Wynn Garrett Series. Available in ebook at www.amazon.com/Bruce-A.-Borders/e/B006SOLWQS and paperback on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Books-a-Million. Bruce A. Borders is a proud member of Rave Reviews Book Club.

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Insecticide Needed

You know what bugs me? Bugs. Among other things, of course. I’d hate to imply that I find nothing else in the world annoying. I find a lot of things annoying these days but I don’t have time to list them all. So, for now, I’ll just concentrate on bugs. The creepy crawly insects, or all insects for that matter, are extremely irritating.

I’ve lived where there a lot of bugs, where there are very few bugs, and some places in between. Where I currently live, we don’t usually have a bug problem. But some years are worse than others. This year, we seem to have been overrun with crickets—large crickets that cover the highway at times. They like to eat anything and everything, which means gardens and lawns are not faring so well. Thankfully, they are letting up and should soon be gone. But...

The crickets seem to have been replaced with gnats. There are thousands of swarming little creatures that descend in a cloud and make life miserable. Driving through these “clouds” leaves your windshield plastered with a thick gooey substance that is very hard to remove. I took my pickup through the car wash the other day and while most of the dirt was gone afterward, the gnats remained. It usually takes me about an hour to clean the windshield—and that only lasts until I go to work again. So, I tend to let it go for a while—I’m waiting to get pulled over for having an obstructed view.

I know, those of you who live in humid areas with a mélange of bugs are not feeling too sympathetic. And you’re probably thinking I should just learn to deal with it. Well, you’re right. And I am—by venting about it in this post.

Okay, blog rant is over. Time to do something else. Maybe I’ll go clean my windshield—it’s starting to bug me. ~

Bruce A. Borders is the author of more than a dozen books, including: Inside Room 913, Over My Dead Body, The Journey, Miscarriage Of Justice, The Lana Denae Mysteries, and The Wynn Garrett Series. Available in ebook at www.amazon.com/Bruce-A.-Borders/e/B006SOLWQS and paperback on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Books-a-Million. Bruce A. Borders is a proud member of Rave Reviews Book Club.

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Take The Long Way Home

Had a chance this past week to see some parts of Oregon that I’d never seen before. I suppose that was nice but it wasn’t really a planned outing so it was a little aggravating too.

I’d gone to my son’s house to help him with a project and was returning home. I’d made it only about forty miles when all traffic was routed off the freeway. The sign said “Road Closed” with no explanation as to why. Heading back to the nearest truck stop, I went inside and learned the road was shut down due to fire. There was no estimated time of re-opening.

I waited for a half an hour to see if they would update the travel information and when they did not, I decided to use an alternate route. Sometimes a wildfire can keep a road closed for days and I wanted to get home. When I started my pickup, the people parked beside me—with Kansas plates on their car—perked up, asking if the road was open. I said no and told them I was going around. Immediately, they wanted to know how far it was to take the other road and if they could follow me.

I said I had no problem with them following me and when I told them it would add about 125 miles to get to the next town, a town that was only 65 miles down the freeway, they seemed excited. But when I clarified it would take about three hours due to switchbacks up and down the mountains, they didn’t seem so thrilled.

“Could be longer too, if you get behind someone going slow, there ain’t a lot a room to pass up there. It the vehicle in front is going ten miles an hour, everybody will go ten miles an hour.” I didn’t want them blaming me when their trip turned into four hours or more.

They eventually decided against taking the detour. “We’ll just wait for the main road to open. This is our first time in the mountains,” the guy explained. “I’m not comfortable driving on a mountain road with switchbacks. Especially one I’ve never been on before.”

I said okay and took off.

Thing is, I’d never been on the road either. Not all of it anyway—I had been on the switchbacks before. But then, even if I hadn’t it shouldn’t make a difference, one set of mountain switchbacks is about like any other. Of course, I grew up around mountains so it all seems normal to me. For the folks from Kansas, I guess I can see why they’d be leery.

After I got up there, I was glad they hadn’t followed. There were no guardrails in most places, it was getting dark about the time I reached the summit, and parts of the road were needing repair—the sides were crumbling. Not a good place for someone new to mountains and if they’d been behind me, I might have felt obligated to go slower so they could keep up. Then that would have made me a bit cranky. This little detour was already costing me a few hours.

Thinking all this, I was happily cruising along, when ahead, I see a semi. It took only a couple of minutes, if that, to catch him. And then, I followed the taillights of the truck—at ten miles an hour! Yep, ten miles and hour, just like I’d suggested earlier. And that was our top speed! For the next six miles! If I’d known my words were going to be prophetic, I’d have padded my estimate, by 45 miles an hour or so! That would have gotten me home a lot sooner.

As for the people from Kansas: Although I didn’t see them again, the freeway was opened shortly after I left on my alternate route, so I’m sure they beat me to the next town by several hours! Oh, well, I eventually made it home—and got to see some parts of Oregon that I’d never seen before! ~

Bruce A. Borders is the author of more than a dozen books, including: Inside Room 913, Over My Dead Body, The Journey, Miscarriage Of Justice, The Lana Denae Mysteries, and The Wynn Garrett Series. Available in ebook at www.amazon.com/Bruce-A.-Borders/e/B006SOLWQS and paperback on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Books-a-Million. Bruce A. Borders is a proud member of Rave Reviews Book Club.

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