Monday, September 30, 2013

Not So Bright

Night time driving. In the semi-truck. Cruising along, minding my own business. Everything was going great. Until... Until I see the red and blue lights come on behind me.

I knew why the cop was pulling me over - the truck I was driving had only one headlight working. Now by law, I’m supposed to carry a spare headlight but I didn’t have one. The company I drove for at the time had no use for that particular law so they didn’t provide spare headlights. They reason, they said, was that the drivers would steal them. We all knew they were just being cheap, but it always sounds better to blame it on the drivers. What it really said was they didn’t trust their drivers with a twenty dollar light, yet they gave them a quarter million dollar truck to drive. Yeah, that makes sense.

In the interest of full disclosure, even had I been carrying an extra headlight, I wouldn’t have changed it. Not that night anyway, since it was raining cows and horses (that’s a lot like raining cats and dogs but heavier). I didn’t feel like getting soaked.

After enduring a short lecture about how dangerous driving with one headlight can be - apparently, the other light just waits for that very moment to go out as well - I was ordered to change it before the truck moved again. The cop scribbled some notes in his handy dandy notebook and left.

I knew he’d be waiting down the road somewhere. I also knew I didn’t have another headlight. That wasn’t a problem for long. Bracing myself for the drenching rain, I got out and removed both headlights, putting them back in on the opposite side. Then climbing back into the truck, I headed on my merry way - still with just one headlight.

Sure enough, I’d only gone about fifty miles when once more I was being invited to pull to the side of the road. The same cop came to the door and seeing it was me said, “Didn’t I tell you to change that headlight before you took off again?”

“Yeah. And I did change it.” I didn’t mention exactly what the change consisted of in this instance.

The officer could see that I was soaked but still he gave me a dubious look like he didn’t believe me. Checking his notebook, the trooper slowly nodded his head. “It was the other side that was out.” Then, again assuming his arrogant and condescending tone he said, “That’s why it’s important to change those right away. You just never know when the other side will go out and you’d be driving blind.”

“I see that,” I said, resisting the urge to comment on how brilliant he was. 

“Don’t suppose you have another extra light with you now, do you?”

I shook my head. “Nope. But I’ll be to the terminal in about twenty-five miles.”

“Well, all right,” he said. “Make sure they replace it when you get there. And be careful, driving with a single headlight is dangerous.”

No kidding! It had already gotten me pulled over twice!

Bruce A. Borders is the author of more than a dozen books. Inside Room 913, Over My Dead Body, The Journey, and Miscarriage Of Justice, and other titles, are available as ebooks on Apple I-Pad®, Amazon Kindle®, Barnes & Noble Nook® and Sony Reader®, Kobo, Diesel Books, and Smashwords. His books are also available in paperback at most online retailers or at www.bruceabordersbooks.weebly.com. The popular Wynn Garrett Series Books are now available on Barnes And Noble® at http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/?series_id=867526 See Bruce’s Smashwords Profile at www.smashwords.com/profile/view/BruceABorders?ref=BruceABorders  #BruceABorders

Monday, September 23, 2013

My Wife Does Have A Point

Being married to a very talented and skilled seamstress, I get to enjoy tailor-made clothes that would normally cost a small fortune. She is usually busy making something and in between all the fancy dresses for weddings and such, all the intricately designed quilts, and all the other elaborate projects; from time to time, I’ll get a nice western-style shirt. Just one of the perks and it suits me quite well. She does have a knack for sewing.

As a seamstress, it is also completely fitting that my wife would have a proclivity for pins. Stick pins. Sharp, little objects that come in handy for a lot of different things - so she claims. Not only does she use them in her sewing, but for some reason she has an almost evil affinity for poking things with them, including me! From early on, I learned to stay clear of her when she is sewing! That can prove to be a difficult chore when it’s time to try something on. But, I know her and can usually tell when she’s about to stick it to me!

But not always. Particularly, when she manages to carry out her scheme while she’s nowhere around. And a maniacal scheme it was.

She’d just finished a shirt that I had requested, a black on black embroidered shirt, and I couldn’t wait to show it off. I proudly put it on and as usual, in a hurry, we left for church. The shirt fit perfectly but something wasn’t right I soon discovered. New material is sometimes stiff and can scratch I knew, but this one seemed to be scratching a little more than normal. In fact, it almost felt like something was stabbing me in the stomach. I kept trying to change the position of the shirt - only to have the irritating pricking sensation change too.

Finally, after a couple of hours or so, I said something to her and she checked to see what the problem was. And found it - a pin! It had been poking me the whole time. (My stomach looked like I was a diabetic or something with little tiny red dots all over it). Laughing - a little too much - my wife removed the offending pin. Ah!

No, I really don’t think she did it on purpose. However, she got entirely too much amusement out of the whole deal. All at my expense! And of course, I had to confiscate the pin for the ride home - you just can’t trust the woman with a pin in her hand!

On second thought, I’m not sure I’m getting such a good deal on the clothing after all. It might be better to just pay the small fortune for my tailor-made shirts.

To be fair, it was just a one-time thing. But, that might be because these days, I know to check my clothes thoroughly before putting them on. With a magnet!

Bruce A. Borders is the author of more than a dozen books. Inside Room 913, Over My Dead Body, The Journey, and Miscarriage Of Justice, and other titles, are available as ebooks on Apple I-Pad®, Amazon Kindle®, Barnes & Noble Nook® and Sony Reader®, Kobo, Diesel Books, and Smashwords. His books are also available in paperback at most online retailers or at www.bruceabordersbooks.weebly.com. The popular Wynn Garrett Series Books are now available on Barnes And Noble® at http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/?series_id=867526 See Bruce’s Smashwords Profile at www.smashwords.com/profile/view/BruceABorders?ref=BruceABorders  #BruceABorders

Monday, September 16, 2013

Heated Debate


I like summer. Hot weather, bright sunshine, no clouds; that’s perfect for me. Did I mention I like it hot? My wife, on the other hand, is not a fan of summer. She’d rather it be snowy and cold, with emphasis on the cold. It’s an on-going disagreement around our house. I like it hot, she likes it cold.

So, when the air conditioning went out this past week, it didn’t bother me nearly as much as it did her - for a while anyway. But after a few days, with the house slowly heating up from the near triple-digit temperatures outside, I started to reconsider my position.

To avoid making it hotter in the house we left the lights off and tried not to use any electrical appliances. That of course meant not using the stove - but then, we really had no need for a stove. As hot as it was, all we had to do was take the food out of the refrigerator, lay it on the counter, and wait. In about a half an hour, we had a nice hot meal!

And, that’s not all. The sheets on the bed felt like they came straight from the dryer and a simple chore like opening the door left us wondering if our fingers would blister. The house was so hot that the decorative candles on our wall are now just blobs of melted wax. A shower consisted of turning on the cold water and hoping it would cool down before reaching our body!

Okay, I admit it, I’ve been known to exaggerate slightly on occasion. So, you may want to disregard some of the examples above. Actually, you should probably discount all of them. But, the house has been a little hot.

The weather has cooled down considerably in the last couple of days, so things are looking better. In a week or so we should have the air conditioning fixed - just in time for winter. That seems like an ironic statement at first, but if you knew my wife you’d know that we actually use the air conditioner in the winter - and we don’t live in the south! It’s true! More than once, I’ve driven home through snow only to come inside to a “nice” air conditioned house! But hey, at least I already had my coat on.

See why I like summer?

Bruce A. Borders is the author of more than a dozen books. Over My Dead Body, The Journey, and Miscarriage Of Justice, and other titles, are available as ebooks on Apple I-Pad®, Amazon Kindle®, Barnes & Noble Nook® and Sony Reader®, Kobo, Diesel Books, and Smashwords. His books are also available in print at most online retailers or at www.bruceabordersbooks.weebly.com. The popular Wynn Garrett Series Books are now available on Barnes And Noble® at http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/?series_id=867526 See Bruce’s Smashwords Profile at www.smashwords.com/profile/view/BruceABorders #MiscarriageOfJustice #BruceABorders

Thursday, September 12, 2013

There'll Never Be Another Johnny Cash Video - The Borders Brothers



Ten years ago today, I was on my way home from work when I heard on the radio that Johnny Cash had died. The Man In Black has been one of my heroes since I was three years old and I remember feeling a little numb on the ride home. Odd, since I didn't even know the man - although, I feel privileged to have met him.
A few days later, I wrote a song called There'll Never Be Another Johnny Cash - my tribute to the the man, his music, and the impact he had on me even as a three-year-old kid. As you may be able to tell from the song, Johnny Cash was a major influence in the way I write and sing. And, even though it's been ten years, to quote one of his songs, "I still miss someone." #cashtag

 

Monday, September 9, 2013

Back To School

Normally, you wouldn’t think the first day of going back to school would involve the police. But, of course, I’m not exactly normal. This wasn’t due to a fight, or drugs, or anything mischievous. I did nothing against school rules at all. In fact, I didn’t even have a chance to actually make it to school.

Usually, I rode my bike, but due to my bicycle having a severe addiction to flat tires, this day, I was walking. We lived about three miles from the school - if I took the city roads. So instead, I chose the freeway, which cut it down to under two miles. Just my luck, a state cop happened by. He wasn’t all that excited about seeing a teenager strolling down the shoulder of the highway, and felt it necessary to tell me so. My choice was a poor decision, he said. Apparently, I was in great danger of being ran over.

Well, I wasn’t all that excited about seeing him either. And, I “politely” informed him that the only one who had even come close to hitting me was the guy driving the car with flashing lights. Needless to say, I didn’t score any points with him. He seemed to think I should find a different route. And, he said if he saw me walking to school on the freeway again, I’d be in trouble.

He left and I continued on to school - on the freeway, of course.

At the end of the school day, I set out for home. Being stubborn, as I was, (still am) I again headed down the freeway. And again, the same cop pulled up behind me, lights flashing. I guess he’d been waiting for me.

“Didn’t I tell you I didn’t want to see you walking on the freeway again?”

“Actually, what you said was if you saw me walking to school, I’d be in trouble,” I told him. “I’m walking home now.”

Rolling his eyes, he shook his head. Maybe he was thinking how stupid I was, I don’t know, but I saw a brief flicker of a smile come across his face. “Just get home and don’t walk on the freeway anymore,” he said, getting back into his car.

Surprisingly, I listened. Well, at least until my bike suffered another bout with it’s addiction.


Bruce A. Borders is the author of more than a dozen books. Over My Dead Body, The Journey, and Miscarriage Of Justice, and other titles, are available as ebooks on Apple I-Pad®, Amazon Kindle®, Barnes & Noble Nook® and Sony Reader®, Kobo, Diesel Books, and Smashwords. His books are also available in print at most online retailers or at www.bruceabordersbooks.weebly.com. The popular Wynn Garrett Series Books are now available on Barnes And Noble® at http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/?series_id=867526 See Bruce’s Smashwords Profile at www.smashwords.com/profile/view/BruceABorders #MiscarriageOfJustice #BruceABorders

Monday, September 2, 2013

Celebrating Labor Day

Labor Day. A national holiday set aside to salute the working men and women. A day to be thankful for your job. We celebrate the day by not working! (Sounds a little oxymoronic, to me)! Millions of people have the day off work, and I think I saw all of them on the freeway last Friday. Not sure where they were going, only that they seemed in quite a hurry to get there.

I'm pretty sure the idea of a holiday is supposed to be a chance to slow down, to regroup, and a time to relax. At least that's what I've been told. Rest and relaxation. But judging by the angst and frustration of many of the drivers I encountered, that is just a fanciful notion. Apparently, Americans are far too busy, and far too rushed, to take the time to slow down. I can understand. I usually feel the same way. There are a lot of things to do and not nearly enough time to do them.

This particular holiday seems to have a certain added sense of urgency. Being the last holiday of the summer, it will then be back to work, or school, or whatever else it is that occupies everyone's time. One last hurrah! One last trip to the lake, or the mountains, or to the beach. One last mini-vacation.

These things are all fun no doubt, but the typical holiday is a far cry from rest and relaxation. Most people would probably feel less tired and less stressed if they didn't have the day off. Oh, but that's not the American way. It's not our tradition. We take holidays off.

It's nice that many employers have accepted and embraced the practice. But unfortunately, some companies do not participate. As in, the place where I'm employed. Which is why, while most of you are enjoying the day, free from your work-related responsibilities; while you're busy camping, fishing, boating, or whatever your activity of choice, I'll be keeping up my normal routine; celebrating the day - by working!

Happy Labor Day!


Bruce A. Borders is the author of more than a dozen books. Over My Dead Body, The Journey, and Miscarriage Of Justice, and other titles, are available as ebooks on Apple I-Pad®, Amazon Kindle®, Barnes & Noble Nook® and Sony Reader®, Kobo, Diesel Books, and Smashwords. His books are also available in print at most online retailers or at www.bruceabordersbooks.weebly.com. The popular Wynn Garrett Series Books are now available on Barnes And Noble® at http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/?series_id=867526 See Bruce’s Smashwords Profile at www.smashwords.com/profile/view/BruceABorders #MiscarriageOfJustice #BruceABorders