Bruce A. Borders: October 2012

Sunday, October 28, 2012

My Wife Doesn't Know Me

Wouldn’t you think a wife should recognize her husband? Even if they were newlyweds, I would think she would be familiar enough with him that seeing him walking down the street should ring a bell. But, I apparently would be wrong.

Shortly after my wife and I were married, we were visiting a small town in Wyoming. I’d gone into the store and my wife was outside with my mother. When I returned from a different direction than my wife was expecting, it took her a few seconds to realize who I was – although, she’d been looking at me the whole time. Of course, I gave her a hard time about checking out the cowboy she saw walking down the street. (Hopefully, she thought I was at least as good looking as her husband).

I did find it a little odd that she hadn’t recognized me. I guess I could chalk it up to the fact that we were in a strange town, or that I wasn’t where she’d thought I would be - or something. Maybe the three or four years she’d known me at that point wasn’t quite long enough to recognize me from a distance. Whatever the reason, I really didn’t think she was going senile – yet. Several years later though, I began to wonder.

I was driving down the freeway in my semi, when my wife and one of our daughters passed me - my daughter was driving and my wife was in the passenger seat. I’d seen the car coming in my mirror, and when they went by, I waved – and got a blank stare. She didn’t know me! I waved again – still no response. And it gets worse. Later, I learned my daughter had told her it was me they were passing and my wife had said she didn’t think so.

All right, to be fair, the sun had gone down, and it was getting a little dark. Still, I would think after twenty years or so of being married to me, the woman should recognize her own husband! I realized I have aged, but not that much.

But then, maybe I shouldn’t be too critical. Not long ago, I pulled into my driveway and wondered who that was trimming roses in the yard. She looked kind of familiar, I thought, but it was quite a long few seconds before I recognized her. Yeah, you guessed it. It was my wife.

Bruce A. Borders, author and songwriter, has over 500 songs and more than a dozen books. Over My Dead Body, The Journey, and Miscarriage Of Justice, his latest books, are available on Apple I-Pad®, Amazon Kindle®, Barnes & Noble Nook® and Sony Reader®, Kobo, Diesel Books, and Smashwords. For more information, visit www.bruceaborders.com. See Bruce’s Amazon Author Page at www.amazon.com/author/bruceaborders or view his Smashwords Profile at www.smashwords.com/profile/view/BruceABorders

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Electronic Age

This past week, my daughter’s electricity went out for a short period, but apparently, that was still too long. She asked me how people ever managed in the old days. And I replied, they didn’t, they invented electricity.

That got me to thinking of all the things we use on a daily basis that require electricity in one form or another. Microwaves, cell phones, computers, refrigerators, stoves, toasters, radios, cars, traffic lights, power tools, lights and heat, washers and dryers, to name a few. We depend on these things and many more just to survive. Electricity powers our daily existence.

Yet, the people who lived in the so-called old days were not nearly as lost as we would be without our modern conveniences. They were not dependent upon electricity like today’s society. They had everything they needed; hand tools for working and building things, a horse and buggy for transportation, a fireplace or stove for heat. And the list continues: oil lamps, wood-cook stoves, iceboxes, washboards, etc. Most households these days have very few of those things - if any.

Not long ago, I heard that four out of five homes in America rely entirely on electricity to heat their homes – with no backup. And most of the other twenty percent would last only a few days with their limited supply of wood or fuel oil. So, if the country were to suddenly be without power for any extended period, I think it’s safe to say there would be widespread chaos.

I’d like to believe that I’d fare better than most. Having been privileged to live before a lot of these modern conveniences, I think I’d be okay. I don’t really need all that stuff to survive anyway. Well, except for my computer. And my phone. Maybe central air and heat. Oh, and a microwave. And running water is nice. Then of course, there’s my pickup and…

Monday, October 15, 2012

Read, Read, Read

Ever since I learned to read, I loved books. Not just kids books, lots of books, almost any book – well, except for textbooks. I had a strong aversion to anything school related.

I used to make weekly trips to the county library and check out stacks of books. I had a mission; to read every book they had on the shelves. The library, on the other hand, seemed to want to thwart my efforts by imposing a limit of a ridiculously low number of books any one person could check out at one time, twelve as I recall. Fortunately for me, my school had a library as well. Yes, finding a way around rules and restrictions was another thing I loved when I was a kid.

I came up with a lot of methods to extend my reading time. For instance, after going to bed, when I was supposed to be asleep, I’d use a flashlight under the covers, with the pillow propped up to help shield the light, and I would read until the wee hours of the morning. If my parents came to check on me, the flashlight was instantly clicked off, the pillow allowed to fall, covering the book, and my head came out from under the covers to fall onto the pillow – all in about two seconds.

My cantankerous nature was not limited to just making time to read however. Rules are made to be broken so the saying goes. One day, my third-grade teacher made the mistake of telling the class we were not allowed to leave the school grounds without her permission, and if we tried, we WOULD be caught! That sounded like a challenge to me.

After a couple of days of playing by the gate at every recess – to get the teachers used to seeing me in that area - one Thursday morning, at the first recess, I slipped through the gate, disappearing around the big evergreen bushes. From there, it was simple to make it around the corner unseen. Then, I casually strolled on downtown. At two forty-five, I was standing in line to get on the bus, like normal. The next day, I arrived at school with a dubious feeling of accomplishment. I hadn’t been caught, but I couldn’t very well point that out to the teacher, or anyone else for that matter. That sort of robbed me of my sense of victory. I had to be content with just knowing that I’d done it and that the teacher was wrong.

Oh, yeah. Just in case anyone is wondering – where does a nine-year-old go while skipping school for over five hours? The library. At least that’s where I went. They had a couple of books I hadn’t read.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Making My Own Road

With over fifty-five million miles of roads in America, there should be a road for anywhere a guy wants to go, right? Well, you’d think so, but that’s not always the case. Sometimes a guy has to make his own road.

Several years ago, my wife and I were in Nashville, where I was trying to get onto Interstate 24. Normally, that’s an easy thing to do but this day they had construction at the interchange with barrels set up blocking the on-ramp. I followed the detour signs for I-24 south – and ended up going north. Figuring I’d misread the sign, I circled around the cloverleaf and in a couple of minutes, was back where I’d started. This time, I double checked the signs – and followed the same route – right onto I-24 north. Of course, I was complaining the whole time, while my wife seemed convinced that I’d just made a wrong turn – twice. So, we went around again. And again, ended up going the wrong direction. And we weren’t alone. The car in front of us and the pickup behind us were driving in circles too – and they had Tennessee plates!

By this time, I was a little more than frustrated. I could see the road I needed to be on but following the signs did not get me there. Admittedly, I don’t have a lot of patience – about three-times-around-a-cloverleaf’s worth as it turns out. My wife made some remark to the effect that we couldn’t get there from here, to which I responded, “Oh yeah?” Sometimes a guy has to make his own road.

Driving partway around the cloverleaf again, I chose a nice level grassy area and turned. Traveling across the median, the other side of the freeway (which was closed), and then crossing some more ground, I angled the car up the hill, merging onto the on-ramp for I-24 SOUTH! There were none of those pesky police officers around so I didn’t get a ticket. And while my wife thought I was a little nuts, the guy behind me in the pickup must have thought I had a good idea because he followed.

A few years later, I was driving a semi in a major metropolitan area just blocks from where I needed to deliver. All I had to do, I thought, was make a left turn at the next light and go a short distance. But, due to construction (again!), I was forced to make a right turn instead. The flagger assured me that I could go a couple of blocks down and then go around the block to get back on the road in the right direction. “Just follow the signs,” he said.

I did find the signs and the detour like he’d told me – the only problem was, the road went under a bridge marked 9’ 4” and my trailer was 13’ 6”. So, I continued down the road, watching both sides of every crossroad. Low clearance signs were posted on every single one. And then ahead of me, I saw another low clearance sign – I was trapped. But, I didn’t panic. I knew what to do.

On the left, was an empty parking lot – just wide enough to turn a semi around. And with several people from the nearby apartment complex watching, I drove the truck up over the curb, making a circle to get back on the street. Unfortunately, a semi weighs considerably more than a car and I left deep tracks across the grass – trenches would be more accurate.

Arriving back to where the flagger was, just in case any more trucks came by, I stopped and told him about the problems with his detour. He was surprised and apologetic, and then wanted to know how I’d gotten turned back around. I shrugged and said, “Sometimes a guy has to make his own road.”